Roughing It

Does it count to be "roughing it" if one has rough days? If so, I have roughed it so much that REI should be my professional sponsor. If one does not count having rough days as true outdoor experiences, then camping has been a tricky beast for us. We were hoping to start camping in Texas once we got past the ticks of the east and the humidity of the genteel south. Fun fact, it's still humid in Texas. This was news to me and I am now a smarter human. Oh well, we keep going for another night in a hotel on the road. Oh guess what else? It's A HEAT WAVE LIKE NO OTHER IN TEXAS. That's right, it's buttcrack sticky hot all over Texas. The state has somehow joined forces with Big Air Conditioning and contrived some malicious plan to force humans inside. Yet again, no camping in Big Bend. Whomp whomp. Ok no, problem, we'll pivot yet again. We made a hard right and headed straight north to the town of Amarillo. This is a place I vowed I would never set foot in again (long story with a dead body and no hotel refund), but here we are. I see you Amarillo and I still don't like you. Ok fine, we will head west and have to skip a good chunk of the southwest in hopes of cooler weather. Canyon De Chelly here we come! Finally, temperature was on our side with a gorgeous 84 degrees. We loaded up with firewood. We bought all the groceries and mandatory smore materials. We even showered and showed up clean. 

Have you ever tried to put a tent together in 40mph wind gusts? If not, I will let you know it's not possible if you want to keep your sanity. My advice? Don't do it. After careful consideration and acknowledgement of future misery, we decided to stay at the canyon lodge. You know what doesn't exist in canyon lodges? 40mph gusts of wind that blow 4 year olds over. We slept well that night.

Ok fine, let's try again. Canyon de Chelly, you are gorgeous and underrated, but you are not the place for camping. Kaibab National Forest here we come! Temperature, check. Wind speed, check. Cooler filled with ice, check. Gallons of water, check. Is this finally going to happen? I am going to fast forward and let you know it happened. We camped.....but was it successful? Temperature and wind were definitely on our side, but we forgot to consider the local insects. Do you know what looks like a bee but is actually a carnivorous wasp? A yellow jacket. Oh, I did everything one must do when they see a bee. Stay calm, "don't worry kids, it's just a bee, it doesn't want to hurt you." These were no bees. These were mean little yellow jackets that looked at me like their next meal. And they got it. I got bit hard and I never saw it coming. "Oh don't worry kids, don't be scared of getting a bite, it doesn't hurt that much ["F*$K"]. I'm not crying in agony, these are happy tears because the bee has now achieved its final destiny. It didn't mean to hurt me [oh yes it did]. It was an accident and I bet it feels really bad [oh it doesn't feel bad at all and sent its little wasp hormones to bring more vicious beasts my way]." I now hate yellow jackets. I hate them from the bottom of my soul and I think they all should apologize to me. 

But in the end, did the kids have fun? Yes. Did we have so many giggles and laughs and ridiculous moments? Oh yeah. Would I do it again knowing the yellow jackets are coming for me? I mean....I don't want to get bit, but yeah, I would do it again.

So now we try for a fourth time. We are prepped with yellow jacket traps and I have left my naivety back in Nevada when it comes to those little wasps. Tomorrow we try for Sequoia National Forest. Will there be bears? Probably, but I have my bear spray and I'm only sort of scared to use it.




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