Oh Canada, I Don't Understand You

I do not understand Canada. Despite this large country sharing a seat with us on the Americas bench, it still feels like a foreign mystery for me to visit.

1. Why is the currency named like cartoon characters? Loonies and Toonies? I don't understand.

2. Why is it Saskatchewan and not Saskatchewa? It feels like adding the n turns it into an adjective and not a noun. The grammar rules in my head are rage fighting right now.

3. The potato chip blends just break the mind. Doritos and Lay's are two separate entities, not one. This duo never needed to be a couple. The world doesn't need another Kimye.

4. Blueberries and sausage are not a pleasant looking combo. The raw links look like bruised doll legs.

5. What is Peavey Mart? I mean really, did they not just straight giggle when naming this mini mart?

6. They love pun named stores. I fully am behind this.

7. They have food brands for what will happen if you eat too much. For example, "FATSO" peanut butter. Say it like it is girl.

8. Where is the air conditioning? I understand that heat waves are not common, but 95 degrees Fahrenheit at 9:00 at night is very uncomfortable. Offering a small rotating fan is akin to squeezing a wet sponge onto a raging fire. It doesn't work.

9. Just because we drive a minivan and are loud humans doesn't mean you need to peg us as "the family from New Jersey" when we walk into a dining establishment. Ok wait, that's exactly what you should do. Scratch the previous statement.

10. Do you only have one major highway? That is actually just a question. It sort of felt like that when driving. I also never saw an amazon truck ever, so did you just ban them? If so, woah.











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